Time flew so fast... you'll be surprised on how things work as the days go by. each day is a big surprise, and a great opportunity too (FOR SOME)... nevertheless, it's a privilege as well that we still survive. it's normal for us to think and worry about the future... yes I know exactly who holds our future... it's HIM. No doubt about it, I mean, on His power... for with HIM nothing is impossible. However, my patience made me think the other way around. I cannot imagine what lies ahead of me. Yes, I keep telling myself that I should not be anxious about what may lies ahead for I cannot add a day of my life if I kept on worrying. I now have my baby. I want him to have a kind of life that he deserves. But with my status right now, it can't stop me from worrying. Will I ever be able to provide all his needs? Will I be able to survive the increasing demands of this world. I have a job yet not for long... I want to explore yet it seems like something is keeping me from doing so. A fear begins to dwell on me. I am so weak and so tired. I keep on asking God for strength everyday... Everyday I ask for wisdom. But my mind is blank. What keeps me going are the fact that I am still alive, I have a family and I have to survive. BUT I cannot feel His hands anymore. I cannot feel His love. Or maybe, I am just so insensitive of His presence... Yes, there's nothing wrong with Him, absolutely nothing for God cannot be mistaken. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME, I ADMIT! My faith? My hope? I don't know. Life is arbitrary... uncertain... Today, I am living a kind of life that is COME WHAT MAY... BAD, but it's true... That's exactly how I feel right now
