Hi I'm back! I am having my early (blog) vacation... Got a handful of work... stress becomes inevitable. But I am happy to be back and excited as well for this week's episode School Is Fun. I would like to feature Hilary Swank's performance in FREEDOM WRITER! Such a wonderful movie! A challenging movie and somehow I can relate to this... I am handling different kinds of student with different attitude.
Here's the synopsis:

Hilary Swank stars in this gripping story of inner city kids raised on drive-by shootings and hard-core attitude - and the teacher who gives them the one thing they need most: a voice of there own. Dropped into the free-fire zone of a school torn by violence and racial tension, teacher Erin Gruwell battles an uncaring system in a fight to make the classroom matter in her students lives. Now, telling their own stories, and hearing the stories of others, a group of supposedly "unteachable" teens will discover the power of tolerence, reclaim their shattered lives, and change their world. 

And the trailer:

Have fun and just ENJOY THE SHOW!

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This has been a long week for me... I went through some ordeals that only God can understand. I'd been seeking for the real purpose of my existence. Partly, God revealed it to me. Little by little God unfolds His desire for me. But Satan never stops destructing me. He caused me to think negatively, to view life as quite unfair. I should be strong when I am on this kind of situation because the power of God is within me. I realized and I should do this before it will consumes me, to let go of all my my struggles in life (impatience, pessimism, too much sensitivity) Satan knows how I reacted on things that let me down. He took advantage on my weaknesses. But greater is He who is within me... God is my strength! I should not forget that.

I want to remind myself that it is God alone whom I can run to... I should surrender everything to His control... Lord here I am.

Sometimes, life is hard to deal with. 

Circumstances overwhelmed us, no matter how we tried to find joy in the midst of trouble, it's hard and even harder if we are being pressured. 

They said, in order to survive we need to overcome all the life's issues and concerns.
The kind of people whom we dealt with everyday, are the same people who may break or make our day.
They are the people who may lift us up or put us down.
The real challenge that we need to overcome is ourselves.
How we deal with pressures affects our emotion, our attitude and our thoughts.
How we deal with others matters most.
Reality check. People are tend to be insensitive.
Dealing with those kind of people is far more harder than dealing with a fool.
What a gloomy day!

Sometimes we are consumed with our thoughts and emotions. Oftentimes, they do not get along well with each other. In other words, we are in the state of confusion... I used to believe that something good is about to happen to me, I used to feel it though I cannot deny the fact that my mind does not agree with me. I am pessimistic by nature. I do not believe in fate nor in destiny. "Come what may" was the trend that I used to follow. However when I came across the word "faith" I decided to change my perspective in life. But it's not that easy as I thought it would be. My old belief used to haunt me, telling me that everything is about luck, a game of chance. At my age, I do not find myself emotionally stable, I do not consider myself mature. I do not even know what I really want in life. Frustrations is within my reach. I easily get discourage, I easily lose hope. I became overly sensitive. At work, I always aim for perfection but the more I strive for it, the more I am overwhelmed with challenges. They used to tell me I am good but deep inside I know I am a failure. Was my mind and heart pulling me down or I am just too perfectionist that I forgot my limitation as a human being? I felt so exhausted and yet accomplish only a few. I wonder what life would be if I stop dreaming? Maybe then and only then I can have that peace of mind that I long to have or maybe I just stop from expecting too much to ease the pain that it might caused me.I used to ask God what He really want for me. I used to ask Him to reveal all His plan He set for me. I used to claim His words in Jeremiah 29:11... but it seems like bleak and difficult.I am not questioning His Sovereignty, I just cannot comprehend (or maybe I just refused to do so). My impatience is pulling me down. I appeared to be strong yet deep inside I am lost. I just do not know what lies ahead of me. I cannot picture it out. I am emotionally disturbed. Have I done something that caused God to delay all His plans for me? Lately I felt so weak and helpless. I felt like giving up. There is something that I want but I just do know what exactly it was. I wish I could read God's mind but I was reminded that my thought is not His thought and my ways is not His ways. I have so many setbacks in life and frankly speaking, I do not know how to overcome it all.