My most unforgettable childhood memories were something that I don't want my kids to experience. As young as I was, I was exposed to severe emotional unrest. I was so vulnerable to pain. I was not sold like Joseph but my heart was so full of hatred that I was bringing the pain until I got married. Yes, I'm so overwhelmed with hatred for my father, for his total being, for neglecting his duties, and for having so many kids with different women and yet doing the same thing that he did to us, abandoning his responsibility as a father.

My childhood experience somehow left a myriad of baggage in my heart before. I used to have trust issues with men I got relationships with, much more with my husband. It took me almost a decade before I finally built my trust in him. However, that feeling of uncertainty was still engulfing me. I'm so scared for my kids that is why I kept on reminding my husband of the detrimental effect of having a womanizer father. 

I used to tell myself that I have to be empowered so that whatever may happen I could stand on my own when worst comes to worst with my marriage. But then I realized, it's not about me anymore. I need to consider my kids, their feelings, and their future. That's why it was always my fervent prayer that God will sanctify our marriage and keep it whole till our last breath. 

It is indeed inevitable for people like me to have that fear. But then as time goes by I realized one thing when God reminded me that everything happens for a reason. Then I tried looking back to where I came from. Doing so created so many "WHAT IFS" in my mind.

What if my Mom and Dad didn't break up? How long will we survive? 

What if my Mom endured all the pain? Will she be happier?

What if my Mom didn't stand up for us, where could we possibly be right now?

When my parents broke up, we were separated and scattered. I was already in my third year of high school when we get back together with my Mom and siblings. Such a reunion was never easy. We have so much indifference. Good thing there was a man who played the role of my father- my late Tatay Rene, our stepdad. I would say, Tatay was a total blessing for all of us. He gave up a good life just to be with us. The process was never easy as well with his own family but Tatay was the kind of father that no one would dare to disown him. He was our total confidante, the father that we look up to. 

By then, I still hate my biological father. I still put all the blame on him for all the hardships that  I've gone through when I was still younger. It was Tatay Rene who taught me to release all such hostility. He even asked me to allow my father to walk me down the aisle during my wedding but I blatantly disagree with him coz all I want to be with to take that role was only him and I am so glad that he endured the pain of his feet (coz he's suffering from diabetes during that time).

Barely two years after my wedding, and a day after my birthday, my Tatay Rene passed away. I never came to his wake coz I cannot endure the pain of losing him. Whenever I saw my father, I cannot help but compared him to Tatay. They're both not perfect but Tatay was so responsible and trustworthy.

However, when Mom was petitioned by my younger sister to live with her in the USA and occasionally travel to Canada to visit our elder sister, I realized a lot of things. 

Mom deserves the life that she lived right now and the experience that she enjoyed at the moment. But then she already releases forgiveness to my Dad without the intention of going back to him. She supported him sometimes by giving him financial support when needed. She also keeps on reminding us, especially me, to forgive him because, after all, he is still our father.

I also realized that I have already reached my goal even without his support, and what else should I hate him about? Indeed, I was reminded of Romans 8:28. I've encountered that verse so many times but only now that I realized that it was God's direct message to me many years back. It was meant for my father. I honestly have that sigh of relief when I get to hug him during his birthday last month- that was the first time actually that I deliberately hug him sincerely since the time he left us. The feeling was so hard to explain. And I believe it was complete forgiveness that made me do it. Who am I after all when I, myself, was also a sinner but by the grace of God, I was saved?

This was my reflection. 

Romans 8:28

[28]And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

We, humans, have multiple options to choose on how we live our lives. We can live in harmony with anyone, we can also choose to live with hatred and bitterness and we can also live without care for whatever is happening around us. It depends on us. 

But one thing that we should not forget is that whatever choices we'll be making- we should always consider the consequences. It's pre-knowledge after all. Unique as we are, we can judge our own actions whether what we are doing is correct or not. I wonder how some people find it challenging to live appropriately, and without stepping on someone's rights? I wonder how easy it is for others to mislabel someone for fun? I wonder too how we neglect someone's opinion just simply because we feel superior compared to them? 

We can be silly, we can be bossy but disrespecting others should not be an option. Indeed, RESPECT is important, because, in the absence of it, the world will be in chaos... 

OUR WORLD will be in CHAOS. 

#randomthoughts

Today marks my 20th year of existence with 21 years of experience...

Maturity may not always come with our chronological age, but the way I see myself right now, I can say that I am getting there nevertheless.

I have so many things running on my mind lately- plans, bucket lists, hang-ups, regrets for the things that I should have done yet failed to do, all those what-ifs, and what I would become.

Life these past days taught me a lot of things. Life is meant to be shared, and so does life's experiences. I am just so glad that I was able to interact with students again after two years of modular learning.

Every time I saw the eagerness of my students to learn something new, I felt the need as well to find new challenges for myself- to try something new too!

After 7 years of teaching Technical Drafting (TD), I lost track of what I really want for my students to learn. The resources are just so limited that for 7 years it felt like I am just producing half-baked individuals who might have the theories but were deprived of applications. Even myself isn't improving anymore.

I love TD (that's for sure) but I could tell that it's not really my passion. I'm not always good with drawing figures having technical specifications, and accurate measurements because I always deviate from the standard way of doing it. I am not good at following exact dimensions. So I let my students explore that things-some were successful but most haven't shown their interest.

What really was my passion? I love doing RANDOM things!

Random arts- random sketching, random lettering, random creative ideas, random picture, and video editing.

So I asked my School Head to have a shift in my specialization... something that could unleash my potential, something more practical and more fun to learn- so I've introduced myself to TLE- ILLUSTRATION...

When I read the Curriculum Guide for ILLUSTRATION, I knew right there and then that this is what I really want! I am still trying to learn about it but I want to explore and discover all its possibilities. And I want to do it together with my students...

I may be starting from scratch yet I learned to embrace it and wanted to learn more from it...

Sketching

Lettering/Calligraphy

Painting/Color Rendering

Logo Making

T-shirt designing/layouting

Digital Arts

Microsoft Applications

Photoshop

Canva

bonus track- Video Editing

and more...

Indeed, I am happy on my Birthday.

Thanking God for His wisdom, strength, guidance, and His provisions because, yes, it's an extravagant course hahaha, so help me God.

Lately, I notice that my tolerance to stress is not the same as before. I easily get snapped. I have little patience with mistakes and things that could blow my top. I do not know if this has something to do with my age or just me being hypertensive. But honestly, I just couldn't live such a kind of life anymore. I wanna change my life's perspective, I just don't know where and how to start. 

There are multiple ways to combat stress. Personally, I have many options for myself. One way is by drawing or sketching-it's one of my favorite past times. Even when I am in the middle of stress, if I want to unplug myself from heavy workloads, I just simply got my paper and pencil and then do some doodling or sketching. One sheet is enough then I get back to work, feeling energized. Nevertheless, I thought, it is not enough. 

I am a Drawing teacher and I also have low patience for students who could not follow my instructions very well. I wonder how could they not make a simple line yet be very good at doing something else like mobile gaming. Kids nowadays are very keen when it involves computers, gadgets, and other IT-related activities. They're so good at it that I just could not connect their being genius in mobile gaming yet not good in doodling. Though there are some who could really deliver such an impressive output but still, as a teacher, I want all of them to perform well in my class. 

That is why at home, I see to it that my eldest son knows how to draw even if like any other kid, was also into mobile gaming. But his choice of games was different though. He likes trivia, quizzes, puzzles, and games that involve building, creating, and leveling up. I am not really familiar with some games other than my Township, my Coin Masters, and my Wordscape. Those are my kind of games. He likes it too but somehow easily gets bored with it. He used to find me playing Candy Crush before but discourage me, telling me that it was another boring, dragging game. 

My son is very keen when it comes to computer search and navigation. I learned from him what website to go to when I want to watch free movies. Now, he introduces me to another site that was loaded with a lot of games, See, that's how resourceful he is. Since I always complained to him about downloading and installing games on my phone which have limited memories so he told me that games found in plays.org don't need to be installed. Curious enough since I also want to learn what he is playing on our computer, we visited the site together and played some games like the Science Quiz, which took us 5 attempts to get a score of 48 over 50. Well, at least I learned some trivia too! We also tried the faster or slower game and learned some trivia too like a rabbit is faster than a bear? Seriously? But we do both have a good laugh about it.

Science Quiz (Educational)

  

Faster or Slower, that's our score LOL!

my Personal favorite!

As a Mom, and a teacher at the same time, it is also good if we are aware of how our kids cope with stress as well. Young as they are, they can also feel some burden especially now that face-to-face classes are back amidst the pandemic. We must encourage them to cope it creatively but of course with our guidance. If we need to play with them, then let's do it. Letting them know that we are just right here within their reach, they will feel better. If we allow them to deal with it on their own, we might be surprised how the internet lured them to things beyond our imagination.

So, now we're on to the next game! So many categories to choose from after all!

To the most influential person in my life, Happiest birthday! I know you won't get to read this because you're not even following my blog, but to those who will be able to read this, today is my Mom's 65th birthday!

Indeed, God has been so faithful in her life and I couldn't thank God enough for what He has done to her. My Mom deserves the kind of life that she's living right now. I am also thankful to my baby sister who has been the instrument of my Mom's better life condition. he deserves it more than anyone else. All the hardship that she went through is beyond compare, I would say. She's so strong that she was able to surpass it all! I am praying that Mom would live longer, that she'll enjoy her life more as she ages.

To you, Mom cheers to a good life and more adventures for you and Jenny. Love you both!

Regular irrigation maintenance is important if you're interested in keeping your landscape looking great. Here are a few ways to do this. First, check sprinkler heads for clogs and valves for leaks. Inspect the pump system for leaks. This way, you can ensure that your system responds to changes in the weather. 

Regular irrigation maintenance

Maintaining a well-maintained irrigation system is essential for a landscape, especially if it's an important part of the management plan for your property. Proper irrigation maintenance by irrigation services Massachusetts ensures that your vegetation will continue to thrive and look its best. Not only is regular irrigation maintenance good for your property's landscape, but it also saves you money in the long run. In addition, proper irrigation maintenance can prevent costly problems down the line.

The first step to regular irrigation maintenance is flushing your system. Water should not be left in the system if excess debris has been collected. Next, it's important to check the PSI, which is the water pressure of the sprinklers. If the PSI varies significantly, the sprinklers may not be functioning correctly. If this is the case, contact an irrigation maintenance company for repair. These professionals will check your irrigation system and suggest the best course of action.

Checking sprinkler heads for clogs

If you've had problems with your irrigation system recently, it may be time to consider having it checked out. Sprinkler heads should be checked regularly for clogs and dirt. If they're not spraying at all, it could be due to a problem with the valve that controls water flow. If you have trouble controlling water flow through the system, you may need to consider replacing it.

Clogged sprinkler heads are an issue because they prevent water from flowing out. It can be the sprinkler head, a plumbing line, or a broken pipe. Regardless of the cause, a clogged head can cause the water to stop flowing and cause damage to the sprinkler system. Clogged sprinkler heads can be caused by debris in the head or the valve. In the worst-case scenario, water pressure will be reduced enough for mineral deposits to build up.

Checking valves for leaks

Performing irrigation maintenance requires checking your valves for leaks. Over time, valves may become clogged and fail to close properly. A leak in underground pipes may appear as wet spots, depressions, or small holes. 

Stone can cause a small hole in the valve diaphragm. A valve with this problem can continue to leak water continuously. If you notice any damage to the valve, you can easily replace it. 

A valve's diaphragm is a mechanism that opens and closes. You can check the opening or closing of the valve with a multitester. You can also check the wire terminals marked "24-vac." If the readings are low, you must replace the transformer. The diaphragm can be replaced, and zone valves can be tightened by replacing the valve diaphragm.

Checking pump system for leaks

Proper maintenance is essential for your pump system. You should change the oil yearly and check the ground and electric motor for frayed wires or other problems. Make sure you shut off your system properly before beginning maintenance. Also, lubricate the motor and check it for leaks. Pumps are an integral part of any irrigation system; if they are not functioning properly, your entire system could be out of commission.

The most obvious way to check if you leak is to shut off the water and watch for a water meter reading. You can then look for leaks in valves and lines to determine if there is a leak. You may need to call a professional irrigation technician if you don't see any water. Otherwise, you can perform the maintenance yourself. It's important to keep in mind that if you don't have a dedicated water meter, you can still check your system yourself.

Yes, I'm still up! Time Check, it's 2:49AM!

I just finished watching the movie online and I so love the story! The title is PURPLE HEART, referring to American Soldiers who got injured in the middle of their battle. I love the artist who played the role of Cassie, she's awesome! If she own that voice she would be too amazing! Ok, won't be a spoiler though so you better catch that film via Netflix.

Meanwhile, allow me to sleep please 😂

It's past the middle month of the year, and here I am still losing the vibe to writing about anything and everything under the sun.

I've been quite disturbed lately about a lot of things. I am even confused about my priorities. I've been hustling in between jobs and pursuing my Master's degree. Plus, motherhood and wife duties were added to the list.

I am even wondering how long will my patience runs, or my strength and energy. I felt like I have worked a lot yet accomplished nothing. My life is a mixture of doubt and fear, yet still thriving, thanks to God. 

I even experienced having a rough day and just told myself to go on come what may. Did I lose my will as well? I just can't figure it out yet. 

But as long as I still have my sanity, I couldn't care less. Life must go on, even when the future for me is still clueless.

Oh God please help.

1 Corinthians 7:4 (New International Version)

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

The wives are expected to be submissive to their husbands...

But as the years go by, many women who felt being empowered doesn't believe on this anymore. Being submissive or being dominant, it depends now on what would be their(the couple) agreement. But as for me, it depends upon the situation. There are times and situations that I need to yield to my husband's desire- no questions. For those who were asking and clamoring for gender equality, the bible was very clear on that on the second line of the said verse: the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. See?, it's a two way process.

image, not mine

This is among the questions that many would find it too hard to answer. Why? Because whether we accept it or not, debt has been a part of our lifestyle. All of us want to live a good life, the kind of life that is so carefree, happy-go-lucky, and adventure-filled kind of life! 

Who doesn’t love to travel? Who doesn’t love to wear the latest in fashion? Who doesn’t want to experience a staycation in a five-star hotel? I bet, all of us want it. But reality has it that right now, nothing comes for free. All the good things in life come with a price. 

There are many factors that lead an individual to get credit from lending institutions like banks, cooperatives, and even our colleagues. One fact is that what we earn is never enough for all our needs. Even some CEO in big companies can attest to that. The higher is our status in society, so do our lifestyle needs. For a breadwinner who needs to send a family member to school, he might be facing the same dilemma. Indeed, having debt is not only a problem for small-time individuals, it could be a problem too for those who are making and earning a large sum of money but could never get enough with their higher standard of living. 

Debt is not really that bad at all. It is our last option when we are running out of financial resources. It could help us in times of our immediate financial needs. However, debt could only become a great problem if, and only if, we do not know how to pay it back properly. As we all know, the money we owed is associated with monthly interest, that is where the loan sharks earn their profit. One concrete example of this kind of situation is the credit cards issued by private banks. Based on research, most credit card holder only pays the minimum monthly payment, which is actually just a portion of the interest that accumulates monthly plus the annual fee is another burden to them. It is in the manner of paying that some people could not comprehend just yet until they realized that they could not afford to pay the capital anymore. For a situation like this, one must undergo first a financial literacy seminar before they will indulge themselves in debt. One has to understand all the consequences of not paying their debt on time. 

For those who were on the brink of losing their sanity because they could not afford to pay their debts anymore, they must consult a financial coach that could assist them in what to do. Others may resort to debt consolidation programs that could help them settle their debt problems. You may click here to know more about debt consolidation. Unsettled debt could really affect us mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually if we do not know how to manage it well. As a matter of fact, others may apply for a loan buy-out with an established bank, but again, it’s another form of debt. 

Debt may be inevitable for all of us but we need to control ourselves. We must learn how to meet both ends, to live within what we can only afford. One book that I have read stated that, if only people know how to live a frugal life, debt may not be a big issue. If you apply for a debt to make it as capital for a business in mind, then that would be okay since it will be returned to you in due time- and it is even considered a good investment. However, if you indulge in living the kind of life beyond what you can only afford, that is how the problem begins. For financial issues and concerns, you may also consult a  wealth advisor to help you manage your finances well and live a debt-free life.

Now let's go back to the question: Is it possible to live a debt-free life? for me, it's a yes as long as you are determined and have a disciplined mindset.

It's been awhile since my last post. My hands are always pre-occupied with works, school, and motherhood. Nevertheless, I am just so glad that I find time, finally, to share what's the latest thoughts that's going on in my mind...

LATELY, I am too obsessed with Tiktok, not about myself though, but all about those contents that has something to do with the Marcoses. I did grow up believing that Martial Law was the worst experience that Fiiipinos had endured during the post-colonization era... Who couldn't believe when it was written in our History books and even taught at schools back then. But sad to note, not all that was written were true. Not all that was taught were true. Some part of the history were revised, rewritten based on what they want people to learn regardless if it was true or not. Some books were written not to give emphasis to the realities but to demean other people, and on this case, its the Marcoses who were the casualties. The history that they want to reiterate is that how bad the Marcoses are, how they caused so much human rights violation, how they rob the Philippines with their ill-gotten wealth and a whole lot more.

BUT contrary to what is written, in contradict to what we used to believe, ordinary people proved them wrong. Based on testimonies, videos captured with the Marcoses- now I believe that what was written was nothing but LIES, a web of lies!

No government is ever perfect, and obviously, there is no perfect leader. But al least, in the person of the late President Ferdinand E. Marcos, he was able to accomplished a lot of things for the Filipino. And I really felt sad becasue until now there are still so many people who continue to demean him and even disrespecting his family as well as his memory.

So now, shall we continue to believe in lies? NEVER AGAIN!

So help them, God.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=439965990872451

We can enjoy the blessings coming from God if we ask for it, pray for it, and, of course,  work for it. My 2022 started with a blast, with good news, good fam bonding and happy feeling. Though I'm quite unwell physically but I just so love how my year have started! All I could pray for now is more life of abundance, financial breakthrough, successful ventures and healthy lifestyle!

So help me, God because apart from You I am absolutely nothing.