I was having a chat with a fellow mother one day. She shared to me her struggles about her teenage daughter.  According to her, she could no longer control her daughter's rebellious attitude. She doesn't listen to her when warned about making friends with boys.  She was even thankful about this pandemic because her daughter was forced to stay at home. But then her daughter stayed late at night chatting with her friends.  Her fear was that her daughter might have a boyfriend already.  She just don't know what to do anymore. 

I could not really relate to her considering that my kids,  specifically,  my daughters are still on their primary years.  Then I just looked back to who I am as a teenager.  My Mom is really very strict. There were lot of things that we're not allowed to do: getting home late,  having boyfriend,  going anywhere with friends,  and a whole lot more.  I really could not understand my Mom back then.  I just thought that maybe she just doesn't want us to marry at an early age.  Well,  I  actually get that and I'm really scared too that's why I really don't have boyfriends in my teenage years. But making friends was a whole different story.  My classmates really find it difficult to bring me along with their getaways.  But I  learned not to stressed out my Mom considering the hardship that she has to go through just to send us to school.  However,  back then I wasn't able to enjoy my teenage years.  I'm not saying that I was being deprived by what life had to offer back then,  I just felt that I was missing something but I just couldn't identify what was that missing piece. 

Right now,  being married for a decade already, slowly it sinks to me how a mother really feels.  I have so many apprehensions for my kids.  But with what my fiend shared to me about her daughter,  I wasn't quite sure anymore if I'll follow the footsteps of my Mom in dealing with my own. I don't want them to feel being deprived but on the other hand, I don't want them to live their life based on how they think or feel.  And to be honest,  I'm quite scared about the future. I'm scared if I could tame them when they will be in the outside world,  when they will gain independence from me.  That's why it is my constant prayers that God will lead them to a group of friends who could be a good influence to them. Our world right now is totally different from what I grew up with.  With all those social media influences,  where almost everything is permissible,  i couldn't help but fear for my kid's future. 

As a Mom I know I'm not perfect. I still have lots of things to learn.  I'm just scared that someday,  I will  have the same sentiment with that Mom. 

Lord please guide me and enlighten my mind always in finding ways to tame my kids and ushered them to become the kind of people that they ought to be.  Amen