Family Matters

Family, matters...
Time heals the wound that was brought by our past experiences- those that were beyond our control. 

I have a big family. So big that I cannot name most of my sisters/brothers from another mother. Except for the second family. 

I can still remember how I used hating them when I was still toO young to understand the complexity of life  and our family situation.

When I got married and got a family of my own, things changed a little bit. That hatred was gone but the animosity remains. But thanks to Social media- for making the world smaller. We befriended on facebook. But we seldom communicate. In short, I was never a good sister to them. I never hanged out with them. For me, they're just like an old acquaintances, as if we don't have the same father... 

When I heard from my brother that one  of my half sisters got admitted for leukemia, I was even hesitant to visit her. Only last Thursday night that I finally got to visit her. I never thought that was our first and final encounter. She died a day after.

When I got the call from my brother I suddenly felt some guilt. I have so many "I wish I could" phrases in my mind.

I wish...

But it was too late.

And it hurts me.