BPC 254/366: In His Memory...

In memory of my dear Tatay

In our lives we met lots of people. Some will just pass by, while others choose to stay. Those who chooses to stay, they stayed for a reason. Those people who lingers with us are those who gave value to us. It is also a reality that there are people whom you are not related with by any bloodline or consanguinity yet they are like more than a family to us.

Let me share with you a story.

Everybody called him "Tatay". His presence in our lives filled the empty seat that my biological father have used to abandon. He is my step father. Unlike what we often heard in the news about a step father maltreating his stepchildren, he is the exact opposite. He loves us like his own. That is why we love him too. But ours is not really a perfect relationship. We often have misunderstandings but Tatay's fatherly love is just so unique. He gave pieces of advice but he never forced you to follow it. He is a man of wisdom. He is not perfect but he is real. He reprimand you when you did something wrong. He is very observant too. He has a very sharp memory. Ask him about History and he will keep you posted. However, just like any individual, Tatay has his share of stubbornness too. If there's one vice that he couldn't give up-it is smoking. That is actually the main reason when we fight. I was the one who reprimanded him it's because I love him. I used to be his nurse way back then. I was the one who have enough courage to give him a shot of insulin twice a day. When I got married he couldn't walk well anymore. Few days before my wedding he told me to let my biological father to walk me on the aisle but I protested. I insisted him to be with me on my big day. He said he couldn't make it anymore because our church was on the second floor of a building and it is difficult for him to climb up the stairs. I insisted saying many are willing to carry him upstairs. And on my big day, my brother told me that Tatay went to the church so early so he have enough time to climb up the stairs. Wow, that was more than a year ago. By the time I have a family on my own, I barely see Tatay anymore. I got pregnant then and I find it too risky to travel a lot considering that we are living quite far from them. Every time I am home, he used to ask me to massage his feet and hand. Every time I did it, I noticed the great changes in Tatay. He is getting weaker each day. It's like he's getting brittle each day. I know the end is near.

Death is inevitable.

This is the reality in life. All of us will have the same ending regardless of who and what we are.

As I thank God for my 31 years of  existence yesterday, my Tatay passed away a day after my birthday. Indeed, life will really end. His death just happened so suddenly, everyone was caught unguarded. We (my hubby and my baby) were not there because we live couple of kilometers away. He was enduring the complication of diabetes. He can barely walk. He is not physically  fit. He went through lots of medication but to no avail. We have also tried alternative medication but he did not continue because his system could not adapt it anymore.

We heard stories about bad relationship between step dad/mom to his stepchildren, and we are blessed enough to have Tatay. 

We might not be your first family, yet you choose to stay with us until your last breath. We couldn't thank you enough for the love and care you have shown to us. We will be missing you. We hope to see you when our turn to have an appointment with God comes.

Hasta la vista!

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